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Nerlens no more

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Photo courtesy of

Just in case anyone was worried that a healthy, mid-season return by 6th overall pick Nerlens Noel would galvanize a Sixers roster full of chaff into a team capable of winning actual basketball games and thus sabotaging our A-1 Abrams of a season, don’t. (after all, that run-on sentence was far more concerning)

Head coach Brett Brown revealed that our prized rookie will likely be held out the entire season to ensure optimum losses in both games and attendance fully recover from a torn ACL suffered last February.

Here’s Brown’s quote courtesy of ESPN NBA Rumor Central:

nerlens news

 Here’s the full story outside of ESPN’s Insider status 

So there ya have it, something else to look forward to in the oh-so-distant 2014-2015 campaign. And, yet another reason to avoid CSN every other night between October 30th and April 16th.

Read on for some quick takes on Nerlens and his new timetable…

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‘The Answer’ Finally Ready to Call it a Career

“We sittin’ in here, I suppose to be the franchise player, we in here talkin’ about practice. I mean listen, we talkin’ about practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game…WE TALKIN’ ABOUT PRACTICE.” -Allen Iverson, 2002

Photo Courtesy of

Photo Courtesy of

That particular line has lived on in Philadelphia sports lore for the last 11 years and at the time no one expected a typical end of the year press conference to produce a line that still to this day is used by a number of people.

That was the power that Allen Iverson had. He took the ordinary and made it unforgettable. On that day he showed it at the podium, but he displayed that same skill on the basketball court every night.

On October 30th, the Sixers will take on the Miami Heat in their season opener. ESPN’s Chris Broussard reported that on that night, Allen Iverson will officially announce his retirement from the NBA. Iverson, 38, has not played in the NBA in 3 years and the former MVP seems ready to come to grips with the fact that he never will again.

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Sixers Hire Brett Brown as New Head Coach

image via

image via

Yes, after months of schoolyard flirting the Sixers have decided to finally put their peanut butter sandwich down Brett Brown’s pants—making their marriage official.

Brown has been with the Spurs for the last seven years —the last five as director of player development—and coached the Australian National Team during the 2012 Olympics.

Now while his title is head coach, the job remains the same for Brown: he must develop the talent on this pitiful roster. For this season particularly expect Michael Carter-Williams (MCW) to be the subject of a lot of conversations.

The young point guard out of Syracuse, drafted 11th overall this year by the Sixers, is the obvious replacement for Jrue Holiday. At 6’6 MCW has the length and quickness to be a quality defender on the big stage and averaged 7.3 assists per game  last season. The issue for Brown, however, will be fixing MCW’s jump shot during a wasted year.

This team is going to tank. They know it, he knows it, and his friends know it. As a result, they gave him a four year contract so that he will have a chance to coach a team that hopefully won’t be dookie in two or three years.

This is a good move for both sides. For Brown, he gets his first crack as an NBA head coach with a team that is in dire need of his strengths. Brown will have every opportunity to get his hands on young talent with one of those players hopefully being the best prospect since LeBron: Andrew Wiggins.

For the Sixers, they get a guy who has worked with one of the best coaches in the NBA (Greg Popovich) for the last seven years and is willing to go through a tanking season. This makes things much cleaner for the new regime.

Before Brown’s hiring, one of the likely scenarios was that Doug Collins’ assistant Michael Curry would have taken over this lump of people parading around as an NBA squad. Curry would then be fired as a scapegoat after the tanking was done and the real coaching search would begin. In other words, it would really be a dick move for a guy who by all accounts has done a good job with this team and been with the organization for a few years.

Thankfully Brown was willing to make the plunge and the Sixers will be able to take the rebuilding process on without any hiccups from changing coaches. The plan is fully in place now. They just have to follow it.


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Around the Cooler 06/30/13 – Sam Hinkie’s dropping bombs

Here’s what we’re talking about:

The Hi-Top Fade is making a comeback!
Image via Wikipedia Commons

  • The NBA Draft! 76ers traded All-Star PG Jrue Holiday and a 2nd rounder for the New Orleans Pelicans’ #6 overall pick Nerlens Noel and next year’s 1st round pick. Sixers also drafted guard Michael Carter-Williams with their own selection at 11th overall.
  • Ransom breaks down the moves from every angle, including scouting reports for these two players, potential top picks next year (Sixers have two 1st round picks in what is apparently the best draft in a decade), and the wisdom of tanking in pro basketball.

Play on your Mobile Device or Right Click to Download: Around the Cooler 06-30-13 (Updated 11:30p)

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!

Follow us on Twitter @TheWooderCooler

Awesome musical theme written by the awesome Matthew Schwalm.

Hinkie Gets Tanky Panky: Sixers Will Suck for Success

Image via

Image via

Sam Hinkie has been more of an idea than an actual human being over the last few weeks. His intentions hardly whispered in the rumor mill.  All of this, combined with a lack of head coach and a middling draft led to what would be a pretty blasé night.

Then Hinkie released the Kraken.

Just a few minutes before the Sixers were to pick at 11,  news broke of Jrue Holiday and second rounder being sent to New Orleans for Nerlens Noel and a first round pick in 2014.

The talking heads of Philly now know that Hinkie is burning down the house, which is tough to stomach but really is the right move for this team.

It’s all about tanking in the NBA and tanking properly.

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Sixers draw 11th Pick in the NBA Draft

As expected, the Sixers did not win the lottery last night. They will be drafting right where they were supposed to be with the 11th pick in the 2013 draft. (For the rest of the draft order, click here)

As a result, please promptly bludgeon to death any dreams you had of this team getting lucky and accelerating the arduous rebuilding process. It’s not going to happen with the 11th pick and they don’t have the pieces to make a significant move toward the top of the draft.

Right now, if you have the patience and forgiveness of a saint and still care about this team in any capacity, then we’ll have to put our batshit theories into coaching candidates and free agents primarily (#PHILJACKSON&DWIGHT2013!!!!!!!) 

Around the Cooler 04/19/13 – Collins, the NFL draft, and hockey purgatory

Here’s what we’re talking about:

Doug Collins is out, Ransom has many opinions (02:00)
Merry Draftmas! Who will Howie Roseman leave under our tree? (17:00)
Is there any reason to keep watching the Flyers? (33:00)

Play on your Mobile Device or Right Click to Download: Around the Cooler 04-19-13

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!

Follow us on Twitter @TheWooderCooler

Around the Cooler 04/11/13 – Philly goes four-for-four… at missing the playoffs

Here’s what we’re talking about:

Hey! It’s baseball season! (02:00)
Doug Collins is getting a not-so-subtle push out the door (23:30)


Play on your Mobile Device or Right Click to Download: Around the Cooler 04-11-13

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!

Follow us on Twitter @TheWooderCooler

Around the Cooler 04/04/13 – Should the 7-6 sign Bynum and ruin the team on purpose?

Here’s what we’re talking about:

Ransom has a novel idea: 76ers should sign Bynum because it’ll help them get better draft picks (02:30)
A rough start for the Phillies (18:30)
Is Geno Smith really worth the #4 pick? We’re talking draft and player value (27:00)

Play on your Mobile Device or Right Click to Download: Around the Cooler 04-04-13

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!

Follow us on Twitter @TheWooderCooler

Around the Cooler 03/22/13 – Weekly Recap

Here’s what we’re talking about:

Phillies: Roy-pocalypse and Total Dom-ination (2:00)
Flyers: Is making a trade at the deadline a smart move? (17:30)
Eagles: We talk more Eagles offseason, Vince has a crush on Chip Kelly (30:00)


Right Click for Download: Around the Cooler 03-22-13

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!


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