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For the Phillies Time Heals All Wounds

choochI’ve spent some time following the Phillies this preseason it’s fair to say that they’re in line for a fairytale season. That fairytale unfortunately is Humpty Dumpty. The Phillies are a fragile, bumbling, egg seemingly bound to splatter across the city and truly stink up the joint if you’re a pessimist. If you’re not so perpetually hateful of joy, then they’re a wildcard contender firmly swaying on the fence. Either way, no one is comfortable.

At this point, everyone knows the story. A young team raised through the farm system came together and built a truly great era of Phillies baseball that arguably underachieved with one championship. Now that team is old, overpaid, and not nearly as likely to contend in October.

How unlikely are they to contend? ESPN figures the Phillies to be the second worst team in the entire league placing them ahead of only the Sixers-esque Houston Astros with a projected win total of 66 games. If you’d like to go with Vegas odds, the Phillies are projected in the ballpark of 77 wins for the year. In other words, it’s a good time to check out mytopsportsbooks.com.

However, the point of all this is not to discuss the problems of this year. In fact, I’m not interested in next year all that much either. I don’t care if Humpty Dumpty can stay together, I want a different fantasy–and it won’t be soon before long.

Why? The core issue of the Phillies problem isn’t actually age. It’s sentiment. the Phillies are an organization that has supported their beloved veterans to a fault. They’re the anti-Banner Eagles causing a frustrating, yet admirable quandry.

Therefore, the only way to quash the love-fest is to have it die. In 2016, the World Series era will have died a horrible death. Jimmy Rollins will be gone, as will Cliff Lee (likely opt out), Jonathan Papelbon (expiring contract), and Chase Utley (retirement). The Phillies will be left with nothing but Carlos Ruiz, Cole Hamels, and Ryan Howard (then 38, 33, and 37 respectively) to symbolize a bygone era. Fortunately the Phillies will likely spend the rest

By removing those contracts, the Phillies will have freed up what is $64 million dollars in payroll this season. They’re currently spending $180 million total in 2014. Add in the value that management won’t spend on last ditch effort signings like AJ Burnett ($15 million) and Marlon Byrd ($8 million), they’ll have a ton of money to rebuild with a more stable foundation (and maybe a new GM?).

Also, by virtue of a low likelihood of success, the odds of the organization again hitching their cart to current players is unlikely. They won’t hold the same high-profile cache which leads to over-valuing your own players.

Am I fantasizing here? Yes. But since I can’t push Humpty Dumpty off the wall myself, I’ll dream of a clean slate.

A.J. Burnett Inks One-Year Deal With Phillies

A.J. Burnett will join the Phillies rotation for 2014. (credit: USA Today)

A.J. Burnett will join the Phillies rotation for 2014. (credit: USA Today)

So if you have not already heard, the Phillies and GM Ruben Amaro Jr. have signed right-handed pitcher A.J. Burnett, 37, to a one-year $16 million deal today. The deal comes on the day that pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training.

The move becomes the biggest of the off-season for the Phillies if you still want to consider it the off-season. If not, the biggest move is probably the announcement that Chris Wheeler and Sarge will be replaced by Jamie Moyer and Matt Stairs.

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Around the Cooler 07/12/13 – Flyers Free Agency Wrap and the Philthy Phillies have two All Stars

Here’s what we’re talking about:

  • The Flyers are probably done making big moves this summer. How did they come out? (00:00)
  • The Phillies have two All-Stars! Dom Brown and Cliff Lee get some applause (17:00)
  • This team keeps playing with our emotions. Despite giving up a half a run per game, the Phillies are still hovering around .500. Is it time to re-evaluate our “Sell it all!” trade deadline mantra? (28:00)


Play on your Mobile Device or Right Click to Download: Around the Cooler 07-12-13

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!

Follow us on Twitter @TheWooderCooler

Musical theme written by Matthew Schwalm.

Big Day for the Phillies Today

photo via mtrmedia.com

photo via mtrmedia.com

Today is a important day for the Phillies for both long and short-term.

For those of you with the visual strength of a 90 year-old cyclops, the Phillies are playing the 22-36 Brewers today for the chance to be over .500 for the first time all year. Right-hander Tyler Cloyd will take the mound against Wily Peralta and hope to keep the good vibes of this season-high four game winning streak alive.

At this point in the year, it may seem like only a minor achievement in your quest for all of the gamer points in Call of Duty. For the team however, this will continue the trend of excising some nagging demons. Just in these last few games we’ve seen improved production at the plate from Ryan Howard, a spectacular performance from John Mayberry Jr., and a much needed win for Cole Hamels in a tight game.

All of this, paired with an easy June schedule, means that the team needs to capitalize right now if they want to be considered even a remote contender going forward. None of this “I hit the button and he didn’t shoot!” stuff.

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Phillies are a Third of a Long Way

photo via the700level

photo via the700level

With 54 games in the books, the Phillies have officially completed a third of their season. Given that we’ve now hit this milestone, it’s time for a good old-fashioned recap!

The Basics:

Record: 26-28

Run Differential: -47

Division Standing: Third


Atlanta 32-21
Washington 27-27
Phillies 26-28
New York 22-29
Miami 13-41

Division Record Breakdown:


Team W L
Atlanta 1 2
Miami 6 4
New York 5 1
Washington 1 2
TOTAL 13 9

*Note: 11 wins came from the Marlins and Mets. Even worse, the Phils gave up four wins to the Marlins, who have a total of just 13.
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The Wooder Cooler Hump Day Podcast – 12/5/12

Now actually on a Wednesday!

Minor weekly improvements. Only at The Wooder Cooler.

Here’s what we’re talking about:
Eagles (0:00)
Nick Foles and Available Quarterback Options(13:30)
Bryce Brown’s future role (24:45)
The Better Upton to Philly? (36:00)
Closing NFL thoughts (45:00)

Listen in here: Hump Day Podcast – December 5, 2012

What are you talking about around the water cooler this week? Leave us a comment!

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